At my school there’s a rule that only one student can be out of class at a time with a hall pass, but today in math a bunch of people forgot their graphing calculators so my math teacher yelled, “EVERYBODY, GO. RUN. THEY CAN’T CATCHH ALL OF YOU.”
this is amazing
let’s stop making jokes about girls and start making jokes about white boys
here i’ll start
*white boy voice* chill out man it was just a joke
[walks into class 10 minutes late with a can of Monster] sorry I’m late I got frontpage on Reddit
[wipes cheeto dust off onto cargo shorts] so if you support gender equality does that mean it’s ok to hit women now?
wait if eve ate the apple then why the fuck is it called an adam’s apple
because she ate the apple, and then convinced adam to eat the apple as well so that she wouldn’t be alone, but the piece he bit off got stuck in his throat.
It got stuck because at the exact moment he was swallowing, God jumped out from behind a bush like
“WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?!”
okay does anyone else find it kind of strange that dove makes chocolate and body soap
magnum makes condoms and popsicles lol
Bic makes lighters and school supplies
Yamaha makes motorbikes and pianos
I make you sad and sexually frustrated
and if you automatically did either one of the two, or both, don’t even fucking hesitate
I used to lick my lips so much as a child in winter that they had me use prescription balm to stop me from licking them raw…
I chew little pieces of my lip off……
How the fuck.. I WAS ALREADY CHEWING ON MY LIP WTF TUMBLARGH
This is a sign of anxiety, by the way.